A couple did a prawning go,
‘pon tethered waves by lantern glow,
With starry sky, that fateful night,
No moon above to ebb their light,
No breeze around their legs to kiss,
A prawner person’s night of bliss.
Jim and Penny were lovers true,
With scoop of pink, and his of blue,
Cook denisons of the deep did she,
While he worked in a fisher mongery,
And strong their love, which had been born,
One romantic evening catching prawns.
They met whilst prawning, alert and slow,
“Getting any?” he said, she answered “No.”
“Bring over here your net and light,
And I shall show you wrong from right,
And I’ll teach you how their games to play,
And nary one shall get away.”
In awe she watched, he taught her sound,
He circled as a kelpie hound,
With eagle eye and movement slick,
Then deftly with a practised kick,
They sped in fright into the scoop,
Their destiny, a seafood soup.
This Galahad of scoop and pail,
With flashing net of never fail,
And carefree gait of buccaneer,
With oaken build, devoid of fear,
The waters with his net did flay,
Like a rapier of a bygone day.
Penny pondered, her mind ran free,
“What manner of man is this?” Thought she.
She wondered long that this must be,
The finest prawner in history.
Her heart was light, it held no grieve,
And true love bloomed that very eve.
And she with sparkling eyes of green,
Slight shoulders with full breasts between,
With body tanned and straight,
Her smiling lips, her strong white teeth,
Caused Jim’s pulse rate to race,
Her impish, pixie face.
O’ what a beauty she, thought he,
I’ll teacher her well, show her the key,
Together when she’s schooled we’ll be,
A scourge upon the southern sea,
And swarms of prawns will quake in fright,
When seen our lanterns in the night.
Their eyes they met, their nets entwined,
Her heart to him was lost,
And he kissed her beauteous mouth of gold,
Beneath a Southern Cross,
Their souls to be ne’er forlorn,
Enchantment struck whilst catching prawns.
And he taught and well learned she
This girl with eyes of green
Together they would wad by night,
No prawn escaped between,
After darkened night, not day did dawn,
When they were not cooking, many prawns.
And shone their eyes when gazes met,
While surfing on the Internet.
They searched for fare from many lands
Of overseas derive,
Of sauces and exotic taste,
For prawns with herbs and chives.
For many months this couple rove,
Their web of treachery they wove,
And many prawns had met their fate,
Their numbers they did decimate,
And prawnette widows were incensed,
Why us? For we are innocent.
And little ones, when came the dawn,
When gently told their friends had gone,
Cried lakes of tears for playmates lost,
Whilst in a stir-fry, they’d been tossed,
School counsellors, worked till late the day,
O’ sad these times, no prawnling play.
And from the buckets came the please,
Deliver us from tyranny,
Save us from this evil vice,
Lest we be cooked in curried rice,
Their feeble squeaks grew to a roar,
On every compass point of four.
Their plight was heard by every prawn,
Throught the seven seas,
And each on made a solemn pledge,
Their comrades to appease,
But twas agreed, throught the throng,
That they must have a leader strong.
There ruled a King prawn in distant bay,
A hero prawn to save the day,
A warrior of worldly flights,
To show the world that prawns have rights,
With wisdom in his noble head,
And strain of blood of royal red.
In lagoon of tropical isle fought he,
To south shores of Antipodea,
Through many seas this general roamed,
For justice in the briny foam,
From north sea waters – freezing cold,
To southern shoals with sunset gold.
Twas said with magic at his reach,
Brought blitz, and tempest, to the beach,
Upon command, that he could urge
The winds to blow and seas to surge,
And bolts of lightning he could throw,
Midst gale and thunder, sleet and snow.
By name of General Flap was he,
A legend of many a victory,
In sea and lake, in bay and creek,
Commanding with a booming squeak,
Pon many shoulder, he’d been borne,
For he was Flap, ‘The Thunder Prawn’!
He led with kindness for his flock,
With Queen named Fay, of Baltic stock,
And many child had her from he,
Last count, two million and fifty three.
A delegation came, in course,
And asked if he would lead a force.
Most mighty king of nations all,
Help us cause this couples fall,
Lead force of troops of earthly breadth,
Else all our kind may meet their death,
That we may render peace of mind,
For the betterment of all prawnkind.
Aye! Thundered Flap in angry tone,
He slammed his claw upon a stone,
We’ll storm the beach and drag them in,
Then punish them with claw and fin
We’ll take them to a watery grave,
And then our species shall be saved.
But Fay said nyet for she was female
Spawned of Russian Red.
Tis folly what you say my spouse, and many will be dead
So listen close and I will tell how victory you will get.
(For behind every prawn of great acclaim,
There swims a great prawnette).
She told her plan, Bravo he cried.
O’ mother of my childs,
He scheme we’ll execute and thus,
And save a thousand lives,
And not one prawn eye shall affix
Pon pearly gate or River Styx.
And glad of heart he did inform,
This group of united nations prawns
Twas an honour for the king indeed,
Beneath the banner blue to lead,
Return and tell them all and one,
Flap, The Thunder Prawn shall come.
They hear the news, a cheer went up,
Responding in great haste,
They came to prove to all the earth
That kinship conquers space,
When prawns unite what marvels done,
In boldness, truth and faith.
From “Old Blighty”, they did flock,
To form the ancient Britons “Block”,
And allies four they brought along,
From lands of shamrock, pipe and song,
With expert fighters brave though small,
From snow fed rivers of Nepal.
From maple leaf with spirit high,
And from far off land of Assegai,
And from the isles of the long while cloud,
They swam with harkas squeaking loud,
To continent of deeply south,
To comrades join, where hats do slouch.
They united for a common right
For when aroused a prawn will fight,
They swam with curdling battle squeak,
They sensed victory they would seek,
And shark nor tuna dared to come,
Near this vast amass of crustaceans.
They came from North and South and West,
And eastward from the Strait,
And many millions mustered forth
To seal the couples fate,
They lay in wait, the time set right,
Upon this perfect prawning night.
Their eyes shut tight, lest they be seen,
No panic, though their senses keen,
They dreamed of soon be swimming free,
And avenge the woes of ancestry,
Patiently, to spring the trap,
They waited on the word of Flap.
During a meeting of army chiefs,
All the captains had been briefed,
Through ranks, Malayan Tigers did creep,
And lured the couple to the deep,
They skipped and jumped as if in fun,
Jim and Penny thought this is a ‘run’.
Ghurkas formed a pincer claw,
And drove a wedge tween sea and shore,
The plan did work as heavensent,
The pairs complete encirclement,
With water halfway up their backs,
Flap jumped high and squeaked, “Attack!”
Twelve million opened up their eyes
Northern lights, upon the southern skies,
Every prawn stood on their tail,
And squeaked a deafening battle wail,
Into conflict they all swam,
A wall of prawns confronting ‘man’.
Then Flap did to the heaves call
O’ windo do blow and rain do fall,
A cold aurora swept the sea,
Black clouds above dumped water free,
They flipped their tails amid the storm,
To cause a tidal wave to form.
The couple had no time to run,
Upon their chests the prawns did drum,
They held them in the waters black,
With their suicide attack,
Whilst their battle cries did hum,
O’ heroes, every mothers son.
With flipping tails the prawns did toil
The waves rose up, the seas did boil,
Pon them with fury, this wave did throw,
And swept them to the depths below,
No air to breathe, the two did drown,
To end their treachery renowned.
They drove upon the ocean floor,
And swept upon these spoils of war,
In frenzy as piranha pack,
At the bodies they did hack,
They stripped them to their skeleton,
Nothing left but hair and bone.
Then the storm it did abate,
The prawns had dealt the couples fate,
Calming waves replaced the swell
Sky and waters they did quell
And all the prawns, they squealed in glee,
Rejoicing in their victory.
As the morning shed its light,
Upon the bloody battle site,
Nothing left, nought to remind,
But two nets crossed and intertwined,
In golden sand on shore they lay,
Loves symbol of another day.
An era new had now begun,
They held their heads in proud aplomb,
For they had rallied on and all,
In unity whenst cam the call,
In rowdy tone they did beseech,
Upon Thunder Flag to give a speech.
Your gallantry, the day has saved
I give you the highest accolades
But I warn you o’ best of best
Upon our laurels we must not rest
And I will tell you as my sons
Of other battles to be won
Of other men who would dare plot
To throw our numbers to the pot
Of shops on high with steel boom,
Woven ropes, and nets of doom,
All their vessels we must sink,
To depths below, the salty drink.
Everntually, we’ll rule the reef,
That every prawn shall live in peace,
No child or prawnette cry in grief
In agony for dear deceased,
And worry not them coming home
Whilst travelling free upon the foam.
They stamped and cheered, they loved him so
This monolith, below the flow,
They vowed as one to follow him,
Through good and bad, through thick and thin.
He stood revered, no word of scorn,
For “Statesman” Flap, The Thunder Prawn.
O’ all ye persons reading here,
As ye shake in fits of fear,
On the seaside blitz you saw,
Just a storm passing o’er,
Or Flap, with his marauding band,
To snatch a being from the sand.
And foundering ship upon a reef,
Sinking fast from many leaks,
Coincidence, you all may say,
In wrong place, whence came the day,
Think thee, between the thunder claps,
And harken back to the words of Flap.
O’ faint my heart in waters dark,
With trepidation, not of shark,
But gangs of prawns, like sulking thief
With sharpened claw and gnashing teeth,
To wrench my soul, from body free,
As James and his Penelope.
By my uncle, William ‘Bill’ Thompson
MT (as transcribed)